Personal Life Lyrics: Closer

Here’s an idea…

There are many of them!

All that is near us we must know
Could disappear any day be careful
The main key to finding happiness 
Lies nowhere else but my soul

I’m going to do something different this time.

A homage, if you will.

I’l be honest. The premises behind this story, the past ones, and the others to come are completely freestyle and are true stories that I wish to share to those that are willing to learn from the lyrics from my life to yours.

My soul’s contentment comes from learning and aspiring to grow from what has been learned, and is still learning still. I mean, it was Socrates that said it best:

If I know anything, I know nothing.

And it seems like I do that on and off the internet canvas with my array of talents that I convey as gifts to society.

What in the world is the happiness 
That you gained from your newest experience? 
Maybe you’re just too blessed 
To remember!

It was a senior from Keenan High School that told me something that I will always remember. I remember it like it was yesterday (Nope, it was 2014. I got fired from Walmart that year too. Retail was the 4th Circle of Hell that I had to deal with. Unlike the 10th circle of middle schoolers*, here lies a group of sinners that desire to punish hard workers with more work and little respect. Good times).

There is a difference between doing what you love and doing what you are passionate about.

Now the first time I had heard this, I was like;

-inserts Land of Confusion by Disturbed (because I was deeply disturbed) with a look of awe-

Love and passion?

I thought that these terms were synonyms.

But then I learned from experience that just like there is a difference between love and passion, that there is a difference between happiness and contentment.

That you’re here 
That you’re breathing 
Realize that’s 
just a miracle in itself

I recall the Theory of Forms here.

Apples and Oranges.

Love and Passion.

Happiness and Contentment.

On a scale of one to ten, how do they add up and balance in my life and the experiences obtained?

A poem comes to mind on this very topic:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet

And so are you.

Apples and oranges are sweet. They are round objects too but how do they compare to love and passion?

Then comes a miracle…

The things closest to you 
You need to always pay the most attention to 
If you get too close to something 
You’ll lose sight of it

“Love is such a complex thing,” I say to this particular senior. “It centers itself around the axis of passion, tilting our pleasures and desires.” 

“That is true,” the senior says, “but…(he pauses, gathering up his thoughts on the matter) is this your passion?”

“I just love to learn and to help others,” I say.

“But, is it your passion to learn and to help others or is it something you love and can do without” The senior interjects.

I pause.

“Explain,” I say.

You know the closer you get to something 
The tougher it is to see it 
And I’ll never take it for granted

Let’s go

“It’s like eating an apple or an orange or some other sweet food. If you love apples or oranges, you’ll eat them and enjoy them but if you have a passion of eating them, you’ll grow a garden to ensure that you’ll never run out of them,” The senior explains.

“Ah! Passion is a particular concept. The metaphysics behind your definition of passion is what Aristotle would call excellence in principle,” I say. “So what is love? A means to an end? Perhaps a Final Cause?”

“It’s tough to describe in one word,” The senior says, “We tend to take it for granted though. It’s like…(He pauses, gathering up the words for it) bliss.” 

“Ignorance is bliss,” I say.

Then I donned on me what he meant.

Though there are people that say 
Helping someone is hypocritical 
Each person 
Can be trusted, or can be doubted, so…

I realized the universal in the dialog.

For subjectivity is a powerful empathetic tool of the wise and he was wise as well.

“I get it now,” I say, smiling contently. “Love is an act, a passion is a habit.”

“It should be something you can’t live without, an extension of your very being,” said the senior.

It shouldn’t come off as a surprise that it was in this week (It was a Thursday. My TGIF but not a Friday because I work nights on Fridays) that I would have to explain my own subjectivity at yet another place of employment years later.

Let’s say that 
Even if you are hypocritical 
If you saved someone because of it 
That would be real, more than anything

Security work in a guardhouse.

Inside of the guardhouse was nothing like my mind (as my mind is like the TARDIS; bigger on the inside. Unfortunately, that leaves room for statements like weird, crazy, bizarre – all of the synonyms that fancy uniqueness).

One Friday, I recall a conversation between a driver and me.

“You seem very happy today! I wish I was as happy as you,” the driver says, as I’m processing his paperwork.

“I’m just doing my job. My job is to act happy to get positive results. I’m content, not happy,” I say.

As always (in most cases) my responses start debates…

“Content? What is the difference between the two? Happy? Content? They both mean that you are feeling good,” said the driver.

“Well…(I gather my words carefully not to offend) happy is Pharrell’s song and I’m surely not like that. I enjoy the song but to be honest, contentment is better for me,” I say.

“Why is that,” said the driver.

“Why be happy when you can be interesting,” I say, quoting Slavoj Zizek

“It’s interesting of you to say that. I know I’m happy in Jesus. Jesus is the way, the truth and the light,” he says.

“The Logos illuminates in us all sir,” I say.

“Continue chasing after your dreams” 
And “Go on without giving up” 
The more you say pretty things like that 
The less that actually gets done

This is the sweet part of the conversation.

God‘s love is eternal,” he says.

He continues without filter, “You shouldn’t be so uptight. You know, for a second judging from your posture and attitude, I would have thought you were military.”

I pause before responding, wondering why this driver is still here for one, and secondly how to end this conversation without it having to go on any longer (because as I’ve learned from some of these drivers, they must follow some of the Cynic personal hygiene habits with some of their appearances and odor. This driver made me search the hills and beyond for Jesus by smell alone).

“Happy is bliss. Contentment is striving for excellence,” I say, recalling the senior from a few years ago “Because anyone can be happy but can you own up to your own self-worth?”

“Oh…” said the driver.

At this point, I hoped that his odor caught the message too.

I’ll keep a handful of courage in my heart 
To use to live through tomorrow 
And I’ll never take it for granted

Let’s go

I thought he would leave after that “oh“.

Oh no he didn’t.

After an unsuccessful attempt to find an empty trailer, he returns after I have rebuked the Cynic funk that he brought with him.

“Here are some Biblical verses to leave you with young man,” he says.

I thank him and say nothing else so he’ll leave before the Cynic odor settles down with me again.

The things closest to you 
You need to always pay the most attention to 
If you get too close to something 
You’ll lose sight of it

Is subjectivity honesty?

Diogenes was searching for the most honest man. He wasn’t the most appealing individual but at least he was virtuous.

Is objectivity truth?

Aristotle always longed for the truth and believed that the truth came from doing virtuous things.

The Problem with Universals is that both premises are not the absolute clear picture in the photograph on the canvas being painted from it.

Its colors are the same but they are applied through different means. Primary and secondary** colors from paint are different from the electromagnetic spectrum of light snapped from the camera.

The same can be said for ideals.

You know the closer you get to something 
The tougher it is to see it 
And I’ll never take it for granted

We can compare ideals.

There are many of them.

I can compare the ideals of the driver to the barrel that Diogenes lived in (figurative and literally, I really don’t want to imagine what it is like in there) or the limits of physical space that bond me concretely to the possibly limitless potential that comes from my imaginative mind.

That senior was the potential that I desired for all of the students that I’ve met, just at a different time and place.

“Continue chasing after your dreams” 
And “Go on without giving up” 
The more you say pretty things like that 
The less that actually gets done

It all starts with a spark and a fire ignites. We never know the time or place, what opportunity it takes us. I was also told that a dream is a wish and a vision is taking action to make the wish come true (Damn you Disney).

Be as you wish to seem.

Do what drives your being.

I’ll keep a handful of courage in my heart 
To use to live through tomorrow 
And I’ll never take it for granted

Let’s go

Naruto had two words that embodied his principles:

Believe it.

He wished to be Hokage and put forth the work to become one. His ideals and even the ideals of the other ninjas empower their decisions, even their style of ninjutsu. These ideals are the foundation on which the fire is set ablaze.

To Mike Rugnetta, you have set a foundation for others to aspire to. You lit the flame and set it ablaze. Now you have many others to illuminate the minds of others. This post is one hell of a commemoration for the great work that you have done. I will continue doing what I do in keep the fire burning. As the 11th Doctor concluded,

We’re all just stories in the end. Make it a good one. 

As your companion on this journey, I’d say great show!

Great show indeed.



**Personal Life Lyrics: Still A Friend of Mine 

*Personal Life Lyrics: Another Star

KEEP IT 100: Chapter 2

How does it feel to fall in love?

Why ask me when I don’t like to trip and bust my ass.

Accidents happen.

For everything else,

Deez nutz

And the lies Pinocchio spews.

It’s hard to believe that love is more than just what the tin man is lacking.


No, I have one.

It beats, on and on

And on and on

It’s a melody that tastes like sweet chocolate.

But smells like shit.

It bellows deeper.

It has been expected.

It has been planned.


I shot the arrow

Pierced the heart

And cared not what others thought.




Personal Life Lyrics: Still A Friend of Mine

Now it’s time to go Incognito with a little bit of Acid Jazz.

You know as true as trees are tall
And autumn leaves do fall
Oh, it sometimes rains in paradise
And even the warmest heart can turn to ice

“One band, one sound”

The quote from the movie Drumline that brings back memories, particularly of a 7th grader that watched this movie as a 9th grader as inspiration for enforcing the playing of a musical instrument I knew from the movie itself.

This was the beginning of a new season of a new skill set, a new talent acquired.

Only one problem.

Standing firm and erect as a tree in cockiness was the notion that making beats on the tables with my knuckles was the same as playing the instrument.

This was the year (2000 – 2001) that if you could make it rain with freestyle beats from either your mouth or hands, you were as popular as Lil Wayne and Juvenile with their hits The Block Is Hot and Bling Bling (Hits from my 6th grade year in the 99 and the 2000 that traversed through the 7th grade. The middle school setting was anything but paradise).

I know it happened to us all
Every kind of people fall
And after all the tears are gone
Do we have the heart to carry on

I hated middle school.

In the previous blog Personal Life Lyrics: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark, I stated that middle school was a special kind of Hell.

Now you’ll get some details.

In this Underworld known as the 10th circle (ruled by Hades), the gates of 6th, 7th, and 8th grade are guarded by Cerberus. As in any hierarchical system, there are rulers that influence the masses. In the 7th grade, we had a girl that in all grades throughout middle school, was the most popular student in the school. I had one hell of a crush on her too. I wasn’t in the “in” crowd in this underworld of middle schools in 6th, 7th, or 8th grade but one thing was certain:

I had the heart to carry on and make this girl mine.

Here and now, still somehow
Still a friend of mine, oh you’re still a friend of mine
Still a friend of mine, you’re still a friend of mine
Still a friend of mine, oh you’re still a friend of mine

Man oh man, if I have learned anything (being a substitute and a student too) it’s that kids, particularly middle school kids, say and do the darnest things (damnest nowadays because kids nowadays have no filter until they take selfies and post them on social media).

It was in 7th grade where I wished that I was Hades and this special girl was Persephone but I had no means of gaining any popularity in this Underworld.

Somehow, I had an idea. A friend of mine instilled in me the courage to use music to get her (and the masses) attention but it came at a heavy cost.

To think of all the times I hurt you
And never thought it through
Oh, I treated you so badly baby
Could such a cruel heart ever be free

The past can hurt.

Death can be quick or slow but to be in the “in” crowd in the Underworld, you must be carried in the Ship of Theseus by Charon.

I paid the cost from peer pressure to become someone else.

The waters that I was carried from were deep (Deep Waters is another song from Incognito* too) but the lessons remained from that ego death (The Internet*).

The beat goes on.

I know it happens to us all
Every kind of people fall
Oh, and after all is said and done
Do we have the heart to carry on

Perhaps this death made me more persistent in my desire to better my abilities to play the drums. This fall from grace in the Underworld grasp that earlier on shaped me like a new canvas.

The drum (the canvas), the drumsticks (the utensil used to create the art work on the canvas) and myself (Tyler* the creator; My name isn’t Tyler but it surely is close) became one with practice and creativity throughout the years after 7th grade, into 9th grade and beyond (because Love Don’t Cost a Thing with Nick Cannon and Christina Millian’s never crossed over with my relationship goals with that particular girl, particularly in the 9th grade setting. For that reason, The Jones Girls song entitled You Gonna Make Me Love Somebody Else plays on the Threads of Fate in the life of this relationship). 

Here and now, still somehow
Still a friend of mine, oh you’re still a friend of mine
Still a friend of mine, you’re still a friend of mine
Still a friend of mine, oh you’re still a friend of mine

Here and now, I am still learning more and more about drums and how important they are in the lives of those that I surround myself with. Communication is a vital aspect in our understanding of culture and as a drummer, I learned that everyone drums to their own rhythm.

It is a language.

As every circle from Dante’s Inferno has a different group of sinners, every drum is tuned differently to sound distinctly unique.

I know as long as I’ve got you
And we do the things we do
The next time baby
That our love breaks down
I’ll do the best that I can
To turn it around

Disney’s Pocahontas signature song Color of the Wind comes to mind when it comes to comparing the painting with all the colors of the wind and the wonderful combinations you can get when playing with drums. 

Speaking of colors, there are three special types of them (like singles, doubles, and triples when playing notes on a drum with a single hand).

Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary.

In my knowledge of understanding the colors of the wind (the drums and the wonderful music they make), I could compare the music theory to that of setting relationship goals.

Here and now, still somehow
Still a friend of mine, oh you’re still a friend of mine
Still a friend of mine, you’re still a friend of mine
Still a friend of mine, oh you’re still a friend of mine

Red, Yellow, and Blue 

My family of colors are the single closest people to me. Single strokes are the easiest to get along with. They are close family (and bffs), and these folks are vital for your own well-being. They are always there whenever you need them! They paint the center of your universe. The blood in your body, the sun in the day and the atmosphere in the sky.

Green, Orange, and Purple 

I enjoy my double strokes though. They associate with you and your close family. They aren’t always easily to get to know at first because, like parallel lines, both you and them need to intersect and meet more than once to warm up to one another. Like plants that go through photosynthesis when the sun and sky allow the nutrients to nurture them, the same can be said whenever the sun shines on your skin, soaking up Vitamin D (and this is still slightly kid friendly, by the way) but too much of anything is a bad thing, causing spots to form from overexposure.

And the six extras

Those triples.

Balance is the hardest aspect to grasp and to have your painting completed, you must have minor extras that individually don’t draw in a crowd, but when you add the single and doubles – the primaries and the secondaries – you get a grand finale.

But like many types of art, it takes time to create a masterpiece and to have a body of work to see your progress, it helps establish a solid foundation of creativity as the wind blows.

Time and time and time again
I’m gonna be right here for you baby
Seasons come and seasons go
Gonna be right here for you

When it comes down to the scheme of things, learning comes full circle over time. The perpendicular nature of achieving greatness in single moments in time, changes the tone for your mindset and the well-being of others. Whether there is a tint or shade in theirs (or yours) carries great value in the nature of self-expression. I find it surprising the parallels that can be compared when developing a passion for something (or someone you love).

For what it’s worth, the connection is timeless.



*Link to the other song from Incognito:

KEEP IT 100: Chapter 1


A pile of dicks?

Can we trust the direction that they take in moral ecstasy?

The Right

The Left

The Middle

All that is missing is the front and the back and we’ll dance the night away.

There is blood on the dance floor.

The roof is on fire.

But I can’t move my feet

Or shake my ass

To the rhythm of their beat.

I’m walking the hell out of here.

They’re not playing my song.

The environment is unsafe.

It feels wrong.

But they run the show

Whether I stay

Or go.

At least I chose so.

Personal Life Lyrics: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

Is that title of this Fall Out Boys track a metaphor for an anthology that seems to play like the Black Mirror series (now playing on Netflix)?

If you’ve seen it (and I highly recommend it, as an advent fan of science fiction and psychological thrillers), you’d know that each episode shows a social facet of technology in our society and puts a sci-fi extreme on the premise in a pessimistic way.

Be careful making wishes in the dark dark
Can’t be sure when they’ve hit their mark, mark
And besides in the mean, mean time
I’m just dreaming of tearing you apart

Back to the classroom I go; to the moments where (as a substitute teacher) my rule isn’t law (The opposite of Aku’s statement to Samurai Jack as he tears a hole in the fabric of space-time and sends Jack back to the past. Yet another dystopian futuristic show to enjoy as well). I am the evil (Aku) in a classroom of students that wish to be on their own accord with the devices that keep them busy (i.e the computer technology that we all use everyday to keep up with the times)
In my head, I’m wishing (as I’m done passing out the assignments, seeing that they wish not to do them) that they could get off their devices and at least try to do the assignments that the teachers (both myself and the primary teacher in their absence; as I can compare the primary to the samurai with his magic sword and to the students eyes, the real evil that threatens their kingdom of digital pleasure) want them to do. My wishes in terms of their actions state otherwise, but in the meantime I know that the students; although they aren’t working on the assignments, dream of tearing me apart because I’m just a substitute that’s in the dark, waiting to hit their mark when the bell rings for dismissal.
I’m in the de-details with the devil
So now the world can never get me on my level
I just got to get you out of the cage
I’m a young lover’s rage
Gonna need a spark to ignite
As a substitute, it is important to establish a special relationship with the students that is nonlinear, as the devices that we all have already have linear information that they can search for and retrieve.
So, what do I do?
I become the devil in the details without having to know a single student’s name.
That’s right.
You see, every day in a different school with different students is like any anthology series so as a substitute, you develop social skills that they can’t completely level with. The spark of creativity ignites with a touch of the bizarre, as in this episodic cage of potential feisty devils, I weave a tale of clever dialog and comebacks.
My songs know what you did in the dark
My observations become words (as the Crypt Keeper from Tales From the Crypt) and they are quite cryptic; using social commentary from social outlets made popular in pop culture to obscure means (by no means are they meant to do harm, instead they are meant to entertain in a literal manner).
So light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
I’m on fire
And I light them up with yet another academic tool that forces them to think hard (and not look down at their phones near their pants, smiling at themselves in awe).
The dialectic.
Heraclitus* called it:
Logos (and not the hashtags that are used on their Snapchat and Instagram pictures either)
Another name that students hate for it in laments terms (because they think it is lame)
So light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
I’m on fire
I am reminded of the heated debates that I’d get in from different students. I’d get students in all manner of Hell (Middle school has a special place in Hell for any educator though. If you’ve read Dante’s Inferno, you’d know that there are 9 circles where the sinful live. Middle school is the 10th he never told you about. If the 9th circle is so cold that your skin burns from the climate, then middle school is as cold as Einstein-Bose Consolidate).
I often remind those that step in the classroom that I’m covering (It is the Twilight Zone, after all) that they have stepped into my kitchen and if they act like they have no sense, they will get roasted (not in a bad way though. In an academic way because I love their potential).
In the dark dark
In the dark dark
The enlightenment of the Pre-Socratic played a heavy role in Aristotle’s philosophy but to keep students out of the dark, I make note of the past though the Socratic method.
All the writers keep writing what they write, write
Somewhere another pretty vein just died
I’ve got the scars from tomorrow and
I wish you could see, see
That you’re the antidote to everything except for me, me
The Republic
The Allegory of the Cave
A few books written by Plato entailing the dialogues of Socrates.
None of them the students would dare care to read or wish to understand.
So what do I do?
I ask questions (while they make statements, assuming).
You see, some like to jump to conclusions because Google has the answers for everything or they feel it in themselves to know the answers (Rationalism did go against Empiricism back in the day). But the antidote that I wish they could see is something that I never guessed they’d take as a joke.
A constellation of tears on your lashes
Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes
In the end everything collides
My childhood spat back out the monster that you see
  • Mr. Johnson, what is your sign?
  • Do you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend)?
  • How old are you?
These are the basic questions they ask of me and it is justified to get to know someone that you don’t know if you are taking the place of the one that is so familiar. Socrates asked questions too. I often answer in kind as he might be proud of:
  • What is the 8th sign that rules death and rebirth?
  • Does it profit to have a mate in this classroom?
  • Did you know the age of your teacher and does it matter if I am the teacher too? 
Answering questions with questions burns the baseline of answers into a monster of research that they’d rather not bother with and I enjoy a little mystery.
My songs know what you did in the dark
And I keep them in the dark until they find out that I care not for personal inquiry. The feeling is quite mutual.
So light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
I’m on fire
I usually don’t introduce myself in the standard format (Hi. My name is Mr. Johnson, etc…).
That is too damn boring.
I do something else.
I let them introduce the moment.
I stand at the door or stay at the teacher’s desk and then I hear:
  1. Oh my God, it’s a sub!
  2. Bruh!
  3. Are you a sub? 
  4. The teacher ain’t here? Oh (expletive word)! 

So light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
I’m on fire

The fire has been lit.

Now for the First Law of Thermodynamics to meet the Second and Third in real time.

  1. Hi. I’m not a 6 in or a footlong but they do sell them in the canteen. 
  2. Whassup? Are we related? 
  3. I’m here and so are you.
  4. I don’t drink sugar honey iced tea. I’m drinking coffee. 

In the dark dark
In the dark dark

Oh the feels.

My songs know what you did in the dark (My songs know what you did in the dark)

My responds ignite them and this leaves one hell of a mark.

So light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
I’m on fire

Once I have settled in, I finally make use of the Laws of Classical Logic to let them know who I am (As brief as possible, as soon as I quiet them down. Sometimes, a monitor is needed).

  1. I’m Mr. Johnson (I’m J)
  2. Welcome students (or any other nouns I call them) (Hi S )
  3. We are here together (J and S)

So light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
Light ’em up up up
I’m on fire

So until the bell rings for dismissal, I’m there with them and they are there with me but do we see eye to eye (Like Goofy and Max from A Goofy Movie)?


But the other senses apply when trying to reach for mutual understanding. Perhaps this is why my delivery is so humorous, even though I don’t think I’m funny at all.

In the dark dark
In the dark dark  

This leaves me in the dark. I always thought that philosophical discourse was the ability to unveil the light from the dark by stating the obvious without making it so, but in turn what I’ve discovered is that this form of jargon is a inferred set of statements that come off as me being a smartass. Surprisingly, the students love it.


Not because it makes them think deeply, but because misdirecting what they know with content that they don’t notice makes me empathetic and this makes me easier to get along with.

In conclusion, I can quote from the Fireman* himself (not Lil Wayne)

A man’s character is his fate.


Personal Life Lyrics: Another Star

La la la la la la lala la
La la la la la la lala la

La la la la la la lala la
La la la la la la lala la

This song begins like a lullaby.

This ballad should end like one.

It reminds me of another star ballad. I’m sure you’ve heard it.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are

I’m often reminded of our humble beginnings. Simple and plain as they are, we all know now what we’ve wondered for for so long.

What are stars made of?

First and foremost, as much as I enjoy the words twinkle or shine when describing the light from a star, I’d prefer illuminate as a better description of its beauty instead (because Rihanna’s song Diamonds doesn’t do it empirical justice here).

For you
There might be a brighter star
But through my eyes the light of you is all I see

When we look at those illuminating objects in space, we are looking at one of four states of matter:


Now there are two types of plasma, but this type isn’t the type that Rae Sremmurd might put Rihanna in their contradicting category (as through their eyes and mine too, she comes off fine as hell in all the cones and rods from my optic lens).

I will admit that the other three states of matter do play a role in my physiological responses that come from looking at Rihanna (as I’m reminded of the Starburst commercial; “Solid! Yet Juicy! Like a liquid!” This referring to the first two states of matter in contradicting fashion) but one thing that came off as odd in my understanding of matter was the notion that the sun and other stars were balls of gas (“…burning billions of miles away,” said Pumba to Timon as they lay in the grass. This is slightly kid friendly still). 

I mean, the memory device to remember gas as the third state of matter wasn’t the water examples. It was (mentioned previously) The Lion King’s character Pumba (from the quote from the previous paragraph). But the notion that a star is just a gas was only partially correct and if I learned anything about science, it’s that partiality has it’s place in the cup being half-full or half-empty.

Plasma is a hot ionized gas. The premise of half-full and half-empty being figuratively conclusive as it is made up of equal positive and negative charged ions. 

For you
There might be another song
But all my heart can hear is your melody

I recall a gospel song from Kirk Franklin and the family; Melodies from Heaven. 

The cosmic symphony that we experience through sight that leaves us in wonder and awe as we ourselves are but specks of star stuff (insert Carl Sagan) on our own planet. And it is here where the lullaby continues, the orchestra of kinetic energy converting the past into the present for our viewing pleasure.

So long ago my heart without demanding
Informed me that no other love could do
But listen did I not though understanding
Fell in love with one
Who would break my heart in two

I’m reminded of the moment Rafiki met with Simba (Asante sana squash banana). As mentioned previously (Hakuna Matata), kinetic energy is being converted and is traveling through our eyes at the speed of light so to say “You’ve got to put your behind in your past” is a literal understatement (because there are many ways to skin a cat; pun intended, but to say “look at his/her/their ass is overstating the matter of fact that I will get to). The comparison is a vital aspect of the great natural philosophy of empiricism, stated by the baboon himself:

“You can either run from it, or learn from it.”

Science is a demanding love affair, and realizing that it takes so much to do something as simple as staring at a star? It would break the heart of a simple soul to know that so much came from something so little.

For you
Love might bring a toast of wine
But with each sparkle know the best for you I pray

It’s interesting that later on, during my years in college, that my knowledge would be tested in a way that I never imagined. I mentioned philosophy. Now, I’ll enlighten you with a sparkle of insight that I never could have known until I embraced my inner Einstein.

For you
Love might be for you to find
But I will celebrate our love of yesterday

We all know Einstein.

The most well-known physicist since Sir Issac Newton but as Sir Issac Newton used Aristotle’s Four Causes as an empirical method in his discovery of gravity as classical mechanics goes, a similar analogy can be deduced from Einstein and how he questioned Newtonian physics to create a new theory of everything. The empirical laws that Newton discovered were turned on their heads when the quantum level breaks them.

For me, it was philosophers like Thales that enforced the notion that water existed in three states, Anaximander that instilled Newton’s Second Law of Thermodynamics in my mind (Apeiron or as my philosophy professor called it:”the boundless”. Entropy is an empirical notion of ordered chaos), and Zeno to test the waters of motion with his paradoxes (My favorite being the Mullet Seed paradox).

So long ago my heart without demanding
Informed me that no other love could do
But listen did I not though understanding
Fell in love with one
Who would break my heart in two

Einstein and I embraced the wisdom of Aristotle. A quote from him lives in my soul in the activities of what I do all the time.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit.

This premise holds true even when discovering flaws in prior information. In the case of the states of matter, there were not four but five states of matter (“We were five steps, to eternity” – Dru Hill’s Five Steps was instilled in my musical mind as I discovered this*), as empirical knowledge is often expanded when new discoveries change our perspective of how we experience what we thought we knew and to my surprise (even as I wrote this), Einstein wasn’t the only genius who made a contribution to the discovery of the fifth state of matter.

For you
There might be another star
But through my eyes the light of you is all I see

Satyendra Nath Bose.

Another star player in the field of physics.

As mentioned in the previous Personal Life Lyrics: Follow the Light, the power of connectivity was a driving force behind their empirical work. Lucky for Einstein, he used the work from Bose for his Theory of General Relativity but unfortunately for Bose, Higgs got his credit for the collaborative partnership of both scientists (A “god” damned shame too). However, in light of the matter at hand, Einstein and Bose’s connectivity is the nature of the name as well as the type of matter the fifth state of matter is:

The Einstein-Bose Condensate.

When kinetic energy is greater than potential energy, you have a group of atoms that collaborate as one single atom (“One band, one sound” -Drumline).

For you
There might be another song
But in my heart your melody will stay with me
Star stuff.
A genuine sense of potential that explodes with possibilities in all matter of beings. Just as stars illuminate the night sky, in time they do fade away.
When the blazing sun is gone
When he nothing shines upon
Then you show your little light
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
The final ballad sung,
To twinkle no more.
But all is not lost.
The Arrow Paradox comes to mind here, as we are reminded of the moments spent with those stars in our lives in the past as they live through us in the present-day. The future is as mysterious as the fifth state of matter but we do know this:
Stars are born everyday.
And as empirically as they illuminate,
Our stars shine through us in every way.



New Blog Series On The Way

Hey everybody.

I’m getting ready to start a new blog series entitled Keep It 100.

I will admit, it will be a little different than Personal Life Lyrics; primarily due to its content being more explicit and more vulgar than the usual Saturday posts but that is the premise behind this series.

It’s simple.

100 words.

In poetic fashion.

But the title is an opinionated honesty and this is what will make them engaging to read.

I will post one.

Once a week

During the weekday

Monday through Friday

Starting June 26th, you will get to read some pretty enigmatic stuff!


Personal Life Lyrics: Linger

You know, I’ve lingered on for so long that I’ve got to use The Cranberries song Linger in a personal blog as a dedication to my 10th grade English teacher Ms. Edwards. 

As mentioned in the previous Personal Life Lyrics: The Black Parade, my high school years were full of new beginnings. The mixing of ethnicity and cultures into the pigment of the neutral, as well as totality of neutrality was one vital aspect of order and structure, but one thing was for sure: The stigma of the Oreo stereotype ruled supreme from the experiences that governed my personality.

If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn
Don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining every day
For me
I swore I would be true
And fellow, so did you
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You’ve got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do have to let it linger?

Ah, the English teacher that also followed the stigma that was held by me. She was a slim, tall, light-skinned woman who, like me, liked structure in her classroom as well as in the core curriculum. Order was found through the understanding of the language and how we used it in the classroom and ironically, one particular story plays an important piece into my life as it pertains to her positive influence in my cordial livelihood.

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just want to be with you
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You’ve got me wrapped around your finger
Do have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do have to let it linger?

Sir Gawain and The Green Knight (or in my 10th grade mind, Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger) was the story that is forever engraved in my memory (Before Forever Red, there was Green with Evil, as this too was engraved in my memory as we had to read this Middle English text). I really enjoyed the chivalric (playboy) mentality of Tommy (in all of his hues). Hell, he was one of the primary reasons for my favorite colors (White, Red, and Black in respective Power Ranger series order).

It lingers deep into Ms. Edwards description of me and how she saw me as the Green Knight, but I merely saw myself; despite the positive comparison, more like Sir Gawain instead. This comparison is much like Tommy Oliver (after Green with Evil, as he was converted good again when the Red Ranger broke the sword that empowered Tommy with evil. Surprisingly, Jason became the Gold Ranger in the Power Rangers Zeo series with a color scheme very much like Tommy Oliver’s in Power Rangers Dino Thunder) and Zordon, both being the squire (Tommy) and the knight (Zordon)I wasn’t the most outspoken nor was I the most intelligent of her class. To be quite honest, I rarely spoke and always tried to be the last called on in any classroom activity. Perhaps this mental instability was well noticed by Ms. Edwards who would try to break me out of my comfort zone. I thought that my actions could do me no wrong (or in this case, no harm) but I was wrong.

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You’ve got me wrapped around your finger
Do have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do have to let it linger?

My silence in the classroom was purposeful:

The words spoken from the sound of my voice wasn’t like that of the other classmates in the classroom.

My mental instability was justified by the understanding that silence was golden (like the Green Ranger’s Vest that empowered the Red and Black Rangers during times of distress).

The fact of the matter at hand was that the way I spoke my words were just like that of the teacher! It lingered on that this odd characteristic was a bit unsettling as I, like Ms. Edwards, was an African-American born in the country without an accent with peers of color that made stereotypes like me seem like a contradiction to the status quo. Even Ms. Edwards first name seem to do that too! I just couldn’t wrap my finger around it. Then, it hit me (and sparks began to fly off my chest like when the Rangers get hit by a monster). Perhaps, Mrs. Edwards was the Green Knight instead and she passed on the power coin of empathetic understanding as Sir Gawain wears the green girdle to represent that negative stigma that she also seemed to go through with the same contradictions at play.

You know I’m such a fool for you
You’ve got me wrapped around your finger
Do have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do have to let it linger?

Our roles play a major part of our relationships with those around us. They linger throughout our lives. Ms. Edwards taught me something that transcends English Literature. The characteristics that define us and shape us as individuals, also have stories from others around us in places and spaces unbeknownst to us. We never know what role we play in the lives of others but I can’t live with myself knowing that there are people in my life that at one point, I cared little for until it dawned upon me as an adult now, how my comparison and their compassion made me accept the full truth of who I am and what I do.

And I can quote from the passage these lines:

Great wonder grew in hall
At his hue most strange to see,
For man and gear and all
Were green as green could be. (Lines 147 – 150)

Thank you, Ms. Edwards.

One of the teachers in my life that made it great to be me.




Personal Life Lyrics: Follow The Light


You don’t use our music to get high
Then use our music to get by

Boom! I have already started! Still on the music tip with yet another one (said in the voice of DJ Khaled). I mentioned Andre 3000 and Big Boi from Outkast, but I thought to myself:

Why not make it a family affair?

The Dungeon Family (do-do-do-do, snap snap)

Whenever I think of this group, I think of genius.

Straight up



The power of connectivity is what drives genius, as it was thanks to the influence of this family that paved a new wave of hip hop:

Mumble Rap.

Follow the lights, they
Lead to something…
Ooh-ooh, ooh-oo-oo-ooh
Ohh, ba-doo-do-doo-doo-doo
Follow the lights, they
Lead to something…
Ooh-ooh, ooh-oo-oo-ooh
Ohh, ba-doo-do-doo-doo-doo
Follow the lights, they
Lead to something…

Now, I will admit. There are many old-heads that dislike the genre (just being honest, I dislike it too) but you must admit, there were many geniuses that used unconventional methods that were frowned upon.

Enter Richard P Feynman.

The theoretical physicist that created a new wave of physics:

QED or Quantum Electrodynamics

Now enter the Future.

The artist that is said to have created mumble rap.

What do they have in common?

Besides loving the strippers (figuratively and literally) and being artists (both are musicians) both of them when creating works of innovation were influenced by those that had a desire do something different from the mold.

The time we’re face-in, uhh
Get off your feet ’cause time is wast-in, uh
Must be strong in this situatio-in, well
So raise your hand and let’s start takin, let’s start takin
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go 

It isn’t easy to be different when you have others there that have already set the standard. You have to bend and break rules. You’ll have to set new rules.

And yes, I will admit that when you hear a track from Future, you struggle to understand what he is saying but think of it another way: The applied mathematics used to understand the applications of physics can be just as similar to that auto-tuned voice as the logarithms that accompany the baseline of all physics.

Hell, I can quote from Feynman;

From the point of view of basic physics, the most interesting phenomena are, of course, in the new places, the places where the rules do not work – not the places where they do work! That is the way in which we discover new rules.

I can easily quote from Future a similar but more complete statement:

I hustle the first to the first.

Even In Darkness
Darker than the Lochness monster’s dwelling
It don’t scare me, that’s fairy telling
But what about Hell and Heaven?
Nothin is that ir-rel-ev-ent, you must find yourself, your intent
Don’t commit thyself, ’cause another @#$*& done did it
In and outta style like leather African pennants
Say that your with the spirit, follow the Ten Commandments
Mad Mixmaster said, “Now can ya spin it?” Say NOW!!

I could quote from Pastor Troy…but I won’t (keeping this kid friendly…slightly. Feel free to listen to Vice Versa yourself*).Yet I will continue to enlighten the power of genius with yet another conflict of opposition:


The darkness of abiding by rules set by those that fear that new rules are not without risk. In the case of physics, the risk of being wrong on paper is nothing compared to the concrete application of it being right.

The thing that doesn’t fit is the thing that’s the most interesting: the part that doesn’t go according to what you expected.

That is the interesting part with mumble rap: To those that don’t like it, it is that part that doesn’t seem to go together with it. Some lyrics contradict themselves. Most lyrics sound like an auditory cipher (which Feynman enjoyed and created a few himself). I mean, hip hop’s foundation is set upon metaphors and similes.

The spoken word over a beat and melody.

Gipp the epiphany
I want to be remembered in infamy
Composer and producer of the symphony
I done had struggles in my life, so I know that it was meant for me
You was sent for me
Showed me light through the power of chi and your intent to see
You teach for He, discretely
Givin them a piece of me — the peace was free, gone

What makes mumble rap genius?

It is a puzzling thing.

It implies the same subject matter from the origins of hip hop yet it is distorted. Perhaps that is what makes it genius. The fact that instead of searching for meaning to understanding the subject matter though metalanguage, it does it with another form:

I’d call it audio cryptology.

Future has composed and produced a symphony using auto-tune, making the words difficult to discern but keeping the lyrical content; the foundation of hip hop based on its basic elements, the same as it ever was (Although when you first hear him on a track, he sounds like Feynman’s Ciphers. I swear when I first heard Tony Montana, I thought that he was saying 21-10).

What I need, what I want, what I see
Is two different things, two different…

You’d never guess that Future was a product of the ideology that defined the Dungeon Family, or that Richard Feynman was the byproduct of the same subject that he hated so much: Philosophy. I’ve learned that often times, we can become the best at the very things that we loathed, doing those particular things very differently. I, for example, can’t stand history. The fact that I had to memorize dates, places, and times was overwhelmingly castrating. I came to realize that history is more than just memorization, but more of understanding how much trends return and subside, using methods that are more ingenious time after time.

It was so elequent-aly, I emerged from the sorta verse
Origin purpose be partially profound of the very power that’s in me
When God said he so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son
I thought he meant me
Jesus is my older brother evidently, experiment in me
Let the complexity collapse the pocket quickly
Life is but a dream, ya row ya boat gently
It’s cool to have a Bentley, I want a Bentley
Yet I ponder why, I smoke my presence prominently?
If you want your mind blow, look we’re all alone… Follow the light

The fact that complexity is made simple (or slightly blurred in the case of mumble rap) is a major contribution to the conception of genius. The blurred speech over a hyped up chorus, a lecture about the wonders of physics, the profound effect that both have on the listeners; it forces you to ponder the realms of God and wonder into the world of dreams and reality. I, for one, linger (musically, like The Cranberries) on possibilities from the endless duality of perspective and enlighten myself to new experiences.

Gipp the epiphany
I want to be remembered in infamy
Composer and producer of the symphony
I done had struggles in my life, so I know that it was meant for me
You was sent for me
Showed me light through the power of chi and your intent to see
You teach for He, discretely
Givin them a piece of me — the peace was free, gone

Some tend to dismiss the persistence and roles that the prior innovators had to endure to create something of worth. Whether it was doing math problems while working at a strip club or working on tracks in an old basement sleeping on a couch, the grind doesn’t stop to create a masterpiece that others use as a baseline to discover new things or create new content.

Truly magnificent.



*Here is the song:

Personal Life Lyrics: The Black Parade

I hinted the idea of My Chemical Romance as I threw shade to that poor student with the previous post.

This time around, I feel it necessary to converse with you the lateral ideology that comes with being genuine then and now.

Yet again, substitute teaching rears my experience in how I am perceived as a teacher in the classroom among not only students but other members of faculty and staff.

When I was a young boy
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band
He said, “Son, when you grow up
Would you be the savior of the broken
The beaten and the damned?

“Why…when he was a young warthog” sings Timon to Pumba from the iconic Disney classic The Lion King and it should come as no surprise for me that this year, 1994; would be the defining year that my father and I would develop a startling passion for music. You see, my father is a music collector of sorts. In terms of a better analogy for our relationship (compared to Simba and Mufasa), he was (and still is) the order and I am the structure. As the story goes, Simba was a stubborn, prideful prince that disobeyed the order from his father to not venture from Pride Rock. Sure enough, he had to be saved by his father from the hyenas because of his pride, but in my case it wasn’t pride that always got me in trouble in my ventures, it was my curiosity (because curiosity killed the cat, or in this case my backside). I’ve learned (and he has as well) that my inquisitive nature has made me one hell of a generalist.

He said, “Will you defeat them
Your demons, and all the non-believers
The plans that they have made?”
“Because one day I’ll leave you
A phantom to lead you in the summer
To join the black parade.”

Inquisitiveness isn’t without some other emotional risks as well.

Enter 1999.

In the case of my teenage beginnings, my shyness and insecurities came from being the outcast (as I’m reminded of the song from Outkast – 13th Floor Growing Old*) in a new setting, away from the Pride Rock and into the land of hyenas. There is another word of generalist that was shunned upon.


The protection that my preadolescence years gave me was done. My greatest enemy? The scars of new territory. Unfamiliarity was (almost) everywhere. I recall the first time I went to elementary school. I cried so hard and ran, looking for my dad. I didn’t want him to leave me in this unfamiliar place!

This moment was instilled in me during my first day in middle school.

Sometimes I get the feeling she’s watching over me
And other times I feel like I should go
And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets
And when you’re gone, we want you all to know
We’ll carry on
We’ll carry on
And though you’re dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We’ll carry on
And carry on I did. Middle school was a wake-up call into the life of imitation and assimilation. I slowly changed the way I wore my clothes, my grades, although they were okay, weren’t like they used to be. I recall my 5th grade math teacher and her infamous influence, watching over my academic performance as it rose and fell. *Even though I wasn’t in that class anymore, her belittling attitude towards me lingered. This carried on in high school too.
And in my heart I can’t contain it
The anthem won’t explain it
The fact that I was learning an old skill in a new setting:
A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Let’s shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end we hear the call
To carry on
We’ll carry on
And though you’re dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We’ll carry on


High school in 2002 was quite interesting. The combo of adaptive nerd carries on for me, as 9th grade saw new beginnings with both old and new faces, and they had their own misery and hate to deal with, as I did in middle school. Both middle and high school presented an environment that I rarely had to deal with in elementary: The majority of these schools had Black students, like me! I was used to diversity. The mixing of ethnicity and cultures into the pigment of the neutral, not just the totality of neutrality in general! Regardless, I carried on.

10th, 11th, and 12th grade to go…

And though you’re broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches

And I march on, ready to leave high school.

Glad that was over.

On and on we carry through the fears
Oh, oh, oh
Disappointed faces of your peers
Oh, oh, oh
Take a look at me cause I could not care at all

And oh, I was so glad too. I was ready to embrace change that I’d enjoy:

Seeing how much my peers would change and I’d try to remain the same. But the ship made piece by piece from the same pieces over time never can be the same.

Can it?

Do or die, you’ll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you’ll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won’t explain or say I’m sorry
I’m unashamed, I’m gonna show my scars
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it’s who we are
I’m just a man, I’m not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
I’m just a man, I’m not a hero
I don’t care

Throughout the years, I’ve learned to embrace my genuineness in all its glory. Case in point:

How this experience reaches the classroom, the staff, and members of faculty.

I’ve learned from my father the power of pride (the order of my father) and the subtlety of humidity (the introverted nature of my shyness made virtuous). I show myself unashamed, with the scars from the past into the school setting.

All of me.

I really learned to not care throughout the years what others think of you; that you are shaped by your scars. You’ll have hyenas ready to eat you, to take advantage of you when you are from a distance land, but remember:

To thy own self be true – Hamlet from Shakespeare

We’ll carry on
We’ll carry on
And though you’re dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We’ll carry on
And though you’re broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches
Do or die, you’ll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you’ll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
(We’ll carry on!)
Do or die, you’ll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you’ll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
(We’ll carry on!)
The greatest attribute that defines anyone is their ability to stand out above the rest. This is what I do whenever I am in any setting. This song, its lyrics, mean something to me as a testament of my time trying to define myself. You will always do so. You are a masterpiece of art; a symbol of royalty that has been though tragedy but also triumph as well. I present that to all.
Embrace your qualities.
Be genuine.
*RIP Mrs. Sharpe
*Here is the link for Outkast